Vernelle Louise Bergerhouse - North Smithfield

Her husband, Charles H. Bergerhouse Jr., was by her side as they listened to the Big Band sound that was a musical thread through their 70 years of marriage. Ray Anthony provided her trumpeted send off with “Baby Won’t You Please Come Home.” Nel suffered from dementia during her final few years, but her sense of humor empowered her and comforted those who loved her. A nurse commented, “I met your husband and he is quite the gentleman.” Nel replied wryly, “Well, I'm no lady!” The past several months she had been asking to go home to “826 Santa Fe,” her childhood residence where she was born April 27, 1918. It was a home full of the comforting memories of a secure upbringing in Atchison, Kan., with her loving parents Cecil Wiley Worrel and Maude Roberts Worrel and sister, Lois Worrel Humbert.

Nel majored in art at Emporia State Teachers College, Emporia, Kan., where she became smitten with fellow art major, Charlie “Berg” Bergerhouse. He was the “soda jerk” at Leatherberry’s Drugstore and won her over with his blue eyes and dimples, scrumptious ice cream sodas and jitterbug jive. They married June 29, 1939. It was Nel’s childhood dream to be a fashion designer in Paris. Instead, she devoted herself to raising her daughters Diana and Shelly in a creative home full of art, music, literature, gourmet cooking and independent, responsible thinking. She later attended Wichita State College in Wichita, Kan, receiving a certificate in elementary education, becoming a kindergarten substitute teacher. Her young daughters shuddered when she admonished, “Behave or I’m going to use child psychology on you.”

Nel found her artistic soul in watercolor painting after moving to Denver in 1958, exhibiting in Colorado, Kansas and New Mexico. She was known for her Colorado landscapes; frosted mountain peaks, quaking aspen trees, mountain streams, snow laden pine boughs, weathered barns and rustic silver mines. She also explored floral themes with an Asian interpretation after receiving instruction at the Denver Botanic Gardens. Nel ate sensibly, took vitamins, never smoked, drank moderately and only cursed beyond earshot of her children. Recently, her “happy hour” included adding Starbucks Cream Liqueur to her Ensure. Over the years she exercised, participating in yoga, golf, tennis and down hill skiing (when skis were wooden and pants had no stretch). She took great pride that her later-in-life “gimp” was the result of blowing out her knee skiing moguls rather than taking a misstep off a curb! Being fit in mind and body, Nel said she couldn’t believe that her darling, blue eyed, “meat and potatoes” husband (who has been known to have a drink and a cigarette) has cholesterol in the double digits and outlives her. Had she known, she said, “Hell, I would have taken more risks and had more fun!”

Believing that, “change is opportunity,” Nel and Charlie left Denver after 46 years, and moved to North Smithfield in 2003 to be closer to their daughters. A recent genealogy search revealed Mayflower and Wampanoag Indian ancestors, so to their surprise, they actually “came home” to New England.

Nel leaves her husband, Charles Bergerhouse Jr. of North Smithfield; her daughter, Diana and Ed Queenan of Lincoln; her daughter, Shelly and Jay Merriam of Uxbridge, Mass.; her grandchildren, Elise and Carter Strickland, Emile Osborn, Todd and Lynn Merriam and Marnie Merriam; her great-grandchildren, Griffin Kelly and Georgia Strickland; her kissin’ cousin, Norman L. Worrell; her niece, Carol Humbert Bruley and nephew, Paul Humbert; and her lifelong college friends, the Parkers and Joneses with whom their families vacationed in the mountains of Colorado over a span of 50 years.

Nel left a letter with these words of comfort for her family, friends, caretakers and all who loved her: “First of all, I would like to ask your forgiveness for all the times I talked when I should have listened; got angry when I should have been patient; acted when I should have waited; feared when I should have delighted; scolded when I should have encouraged; criticized when I should have complimented; said no when I should have said yes, and said yes when I should have said no. And remember, death is nothing at all. It does not count. I have only slipped away into the next room. Nothing has happened. Everything remains exactly as it was. I am I and you are you, and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged. Whatever we were to each other, that we still are. Call me by the old familiar name. Speak of me in the easy way you always did. Put no difference in your tone. Wear no air of sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed, at the jokes we played together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was. There is absolute and unbroken continuity. Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner. All is well.”

In Denver, Nel volunteered at the Medical Center of Aurora, meeting patients who had few visitors. Being shy, she challenged herself to brighten their day and not leave until they shared a laugh. In lieu of flowers, remember Nel by encountering those you meet by brightening their day, and then leave ’em laughing.

All who loved Nel are welcome to drop by an informal reception with the family Saturday, Jan. 16, from 2-5 p.m. at The Villa at St. Antoine, 400 Mendon Road, North Smithfield. The celebration of Nel’s life will include champagne and chocolate cake, at her request! Burial will be at the convenience of the family at Fairmount Cemetery, Denver, Colo. Arrangements are by Buma Funeral Home, Uxbridge, Mass. In Nel’s memory, the family has made donations to the Villa and Residence at St. Antoine in North Smithfield and the Visiting Nurses of Rhode Island Hospice Care, in heartfelt appreciation of the wonderful caregivers who have wrapped us in love, compassionate care and generosity, and have become family.