MY LIFE – Clumsy day

MY LIFE – Clumsy day

I seem to be having a clumsy day here. Not just the odd clumsy moment which I suspect we all have, but an annoying series of slightly off kilter moves.

For example, after much agonizing over what to eat without actually having to do any real cooking, I remembered my pandemic stash of ramen noodle packets. Not exactly fine dining, but at four packs for $1 and ready in three minutes with only a small pan and two cups of water for equipment, it’s easy to understand its popularity. I had recently had a discussion with my daughter Kathy on this subject and she had suggested keeping a bag of frozen mixed vegetables on hand. Drop a handful of the frozen veg in the pot with the noodles and you can still feel virtuous while eating what is really not a very nutritious meal.

OK, so I got the water boiling, measured out a heap of frozen veggies into my hand, and lost control with at least one pea rolling into the burner, but not a problem. I could retrieve it later. Soup done, I carefully ladled it into the bowl, somehow missing center and winding up with half a scoopful of hot noodles draped over the side of the bowl. Grabbed a paper towel to clean up the mess and somehow got a piece of noodle stuck to the side of my finger that no matter how I tried to get rid of, seemed to get stuck on something else. Then for my grand finale, I slopped hot soup from the overfilled bowl all over my napkin and me when I put the bowl down next to where I would be sitting to eat, in front of the TV (another part of my fine dining experience).

Generally speaking, I’m not always this clumsy, but sometimes it just rains clumsy all over the place and the harder I try to be careful the worse it gets.

Like a few weeks ago when I tried to take a jar of pickles out of the fridge only to find it had become fused to the glass shelf. So firmly stuck that I was afraid I’d break the shelf as I pulled and tugged to free it. Once freed, it left a thick ridge of dried sticky all around where it had been. Long story short, turns out the whole back part of the shelf was sticky with other small jars and stuff glued into place, and whatever bad had happened back there, the sticky had also leaked onto the next shelf down, where a box of pie crust was now firmly glued into place.

It was an unholy mess and I didn’t even know where to start, but figuring “in-for-a-penny-in-for-a-pound,” I bit the bullet and decided to just clean out the whole fridge while I was at it.

To the right of my fridge and smack up against it is my big kitchen wastebasket, so while standing in front of the fridge I could easily just reach across over the top of the open fridge door and toss stuff into the basket without even having to look. Out went all sorts of accumulated, outdated, partially empty containers, wilted bits of produce, and what looked like a science project or two. Finished, I scrubbed the whole thing out and neatly put all the good stuff back in ... then I closed the door.

That’s when I became aware of the fact that the half empty tub of sour cream I had earlier so cavalierly tossed had apparently only hit the wastebasket a glancing blow. That entire corner of the kitchen was now covered in sour cream, spattered and dripping on every surface ... the floor, the side of the fridge, the wastebasket itself, the stove, the tiled wall, the door of the pantry closet, and sour cream juice had oozed under everything as well.

They say when it rains it pours. In my life at least, clumsy seems to work the same way.