Blogs | Brad Poirier

I hate mowing my lawn

Also not a fan of lawn mowers.

I would rather have to clear snow every day for the entire winter than mow my lawn every week.

I know what you’re thinking: “I’m blaming you when we have a bad winter this year. You brought the snow upon us."

Hear me out.

I have a lot of terrain to cover and these are no up-and-down nice paths. Truthfully, if I took better care of my landscape it would be slightly more manageable. My back yard is about 100 feet long by 30 feet wide. The front lawn is about 60 feet long and 30 feet deep. Plus a little bit on the sides of the house as well.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I do enjoy manual labor. I recently rebuilt a guardrail system for my side steps. It was a nice weekend project to tackle. My lawn, however, is totally different story.

The back yard once had a large, above ground pool in it. The previous owners took it with them before we purchased the home. So this left an area with lots of sand and lots of rocks around where the pool used to sit. We managed to move most of the rocks over to an unused corner of the yard, but there still remain little rocks that have sort of made their way into the ground now. Rocks: Bad for lawnmowers.

We had a truckload of loam delivered one year to help grade the landscape better. To do this, we took down a couple of fence panels so the truck could back up to our back yard area and dump it where we needed it (The back yard is about four feet off the ground). Well, when the dump truck pulled away, the bed of his truck was resting on the timber retaining wall, and so it pulled the top timber away from the wall. Great, new problem.

To attempt to push this back in, I now had to move all of that dirt and dig below to remove pressure off the timbers to bang it back into place. Not only didn’t it work, it left me tired, and now I had to move the dirt, again. Also, I never graded that area, so there’s still just a decent mound of dirt back there.

A few years ago, our front yard had to get torn up due to our sewer pipe that broke. Our house is set pretty high off the street, so the machines had to dig about 9 feet below to access the broken pipe. Let me tell you, you can live a few days without electricity, or even heat. You cannot live one day without modern plumbing. When they filled the dirt back in from the settling, it left a big dip in the front yard. Some of the loam we had delivered was for the front yard.

So if you haven’t figured this out yet, most of the bad lawn care is my fault. I’m very much doing this to myself. I really should just say I don’t like landscaping in general.

So basically the following is what mowing the lawn looks like for me each week: Move the lawn mower around the most uneven landscape, dodge lots of rocks, avoid dirt and try not to get too tired.

If that was all I had to deal with, I’d be OK, but a new problem recently reared its heat.

My mower kicked the bucket.

At first, it was a simple pull cord that broke. Thank you YouTube for teaching me how to replace the pull cord on a Briggs & Stratton mower. Phew, easy $5 fix.

I fired it back up to make sure all was working well, great. I put the mower aside because I was going to get the lawn done later in the day when it cooled down.

It cooled down, I started the mower, and then it idles down. It won’t stay running. I tried multiple fixes, new air filter, oil change, muffler check. Nothing.

I borrowed my father-in-law’s lawn mower, he has a Toro and it really gave the lawn a much nicer cut. My old mower would never actually collect the clippings even though it was supposed to. I gave up on this mower. So, I went and found a nice used Toro brand lawn mower for $60. I picked it up, brought it home and gave the lawn a little cut to test it out. I put it aside for the next cut.

That next cut was July 27, one week after getting the new mower. Guess what. The mower won’t start.

I give up.

Next stop: buying some goats to eat my grass. If anyone knows where I can buy a few, I’m all ears.

Also, if someone would like cut my lawn for me, I’m very good at making desserts.

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